I have mixed feelings on whether I should share this or not...we thought we got great news about 7 weeks ago, okay wonderful news of being pregant! Long story short, there is no longer a pregnancy.
I went into the Dr. today to have a follow up ultra-sound after one 14 days ago, when everything seemed to be progressing fine. Now it isn't.
I just have so many mixed emotions about the whole thing. I makes me wonder why there are so many out there that can get pregant so easily or are un-wed parents who don't really want a baby, and they get pregant and everything is fine--and then there is Jared and I who want a baby so bad to have it taken away. I recieved a wonderful blessing from our neighbor tonight after we got home of comfort. I know that my Father in Heaven is so aware of how I feel, that this is such a struggle for me because it is something I want to happen so bad, I just need to take comfort in knowing that He knows my pain and eventually I will be able to have the family that I want.
14 comments:
Mel, I'm so sorry. My heart just aches for you. Know that I am thinking of you.
I'm so sorry, Mel. My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you ever want to talk/vent/cry, you can call or email me anytime.
You're in my prayers as well. I'm so happy the blessing brang comfort to you and hope it will continue to do so.
Melanie, I know part of what you are feeling. Though I know that doesn't make it less painful, it is sometimes, somehow helps you not feel so alone to know you are not the only one who has suffered such devastating loss. Thank goodness for the Priesthood, the Gospel, and the healing power of the Atonement. Otherwise, no one could endure such heartache.
If you ever want to talk about anything, vent, or just cry, I am here. It helped me to be able to talk to someone who knew what I was going through because while others tried to be sympathetic, they just didn't understand. In will be in my thoughts and prayers.
amberkimber@gmail.com
I am so sorry Melanie! Trust me this is one topic I can say that I know exactly what you are feeling right now.
Be angry, be sad, be alone, or talk when you want!! And DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for feeling how you want. Heavenly Father does know how you are feeling but sometimes that doesn't take the pain away.
I always hated when people would say "it will happen when it's supposed to". That doesn't help how you are feeling right now.
If you want to talk sometime know that I am here! And if nothing else know that I am thinking and praying for you guys.
Melanie, I am so sorry! You are such an awesome girl & will make a wonderful mom someday! I have a good friend who tried and tried and tried for years to get pregnant. She had a miscarrage about the time I found out I was pregnant with Connor. I felt so guilty that she had lost her baby & yet, mine was doing fine. They kept trying for years after that, even trying fertility drugs & invitro. Nothing worked. They had finally given up when she suddenly got pregnant naturally. She just gave birth to a healthy, happy baby boy last October. Hopefully, the same thing will happen for you. I will be thinking about you & praying for you. Hugs...
I'm so sorry Mel! I wish I was there to give you a big hug! You'll be in my prayers as well.
Mel my mom just called to tell me. I am so so sorry. I know that nothing can be said that will make you feel better. Know that we have been praying for you and that we love you. I wish I was there to give you a hug.
Sweet Mel and Jared,
I can hardly see to type through my tears... I hurt for you both so much.
I've already been Great Aunt Donna for your special one....Guess I'll go buy a pretty hat box, so that when the time does come, and it will... I'll know where everything is. You know I never doubted that I was going to live when the doctor told us I had a 20% chance to live …. It’s a special faith I have… and you have it too! I just know the third times the charm…... (Not to diminish your pain sweetheart, but I have never doubted that you and Jared will have a family - - I have always had faith the Lord has a great family planned for you and my very special nephew….. ) It's just a matter of timing.
I struggle with the time thing too, only I'm in a much easier place then you. But I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! But then something or someone reminds me of the Lords plans for me…. That I don't understand either! …… And when I returned from Utah last trip, I was very heavy hearted. Soon after I returned, Robin took me to the doctor,......and my very unaffectionate doctor of 30 years - pats me on the leg, and tells me that I am doing better then any of the doctors ever thought I would do! Isn't that mind boggling!! My LDS Doctor, spent a lot of time telling me that someone up in Heaven really loves me, that I am so very very blessed. Well, I'm telling you, that you are very very loved, on earth and heaven above, and the Good Lord will Bless you too!
Just because we, and the people around us, don't understand why the Lord isn't giving us the productive bodies we want, and he is giving a child to the two of the --best future parents in Utah… or God keeps giving me another complication with my cancer …….. It will all work out……
I have this personal side belief, that has nothing to do with religion, …..that there are some type of life lessons that God is teaching, not just to us, but to those around us also. It doesn't make losing a child any easier, but I am proud to call you niece and nephew ….. You're teaching a massive group of people who come into contact with you both, what God had in his mind and heart when he designed a truly loving union between a man and a woman…… and you've done it with great faith, dignity, and a positive spirit when inside your breaking apart wanting the final piece to your marriage. :).
You have such a strong faith to carry you through this terrible pain.... I love you guys more then you'll ever know, .....But I believe in ALL my heart that you are absolutely right....You and Jared will get your family, only it will be in God's time instead of in our time.
Robin, Jake, Zach and I wil be down in Utah some time soon. Robins doing the planning.
I love yas,
Aunt Donna
PS. I hope this letter didn't make you sad…. It actually made me smile thinking about you and Jared, and what a blessing you both are to be in our family! I loves ya!!
PSS: JUST REMEMBER MY NAME IS ALREADY ON Y0UR LIST TO SPOIL THE FUTURE YOUNG GENERATION!! Hopefully near the top of the list!
I don't have anything profound to say, but I wanted to leave a comment and let you know how sorry I am for you. I hope all goes well for you in the future!
Mel-
I'm so sorry to hear about this. You and jared are amazing! Just know i'm thinking of you guys and my prayers are with you.
this made my heart hurt! I am sorry to hear that you lost your baby. That is a lonely hard time.
You two will make awesome parents to a VERY lucky baby someday!
hugs
I am crying with you. I am so sad to hear the news. You will be in my prayers.
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